Argh!

Oh Life, it's confusing.
I decided something..
well first of all, I should post blogs more often.
Second of all, no matter how hard I try, I can never fix everything in my life.
Or anyone else's. I can never make everything okay.
So I gave up and gave it to God.
Cause I know he can.

That's all for now...
if you happen to read this, even if you don't know me, please pray for me.
I know it's a selfish request, but it means a lot.
Thanks.

Sad. Very.

Well, haven't posted anything in a while...this is from my other blog..but it makes you(or at least me) think about everything..how screwed up a lot of this world is. So I figured I'd put it on here...I'll write more on it later. Just think about it, that's all...even for a second..


Want to hear something sad?

1,377 teenagers become mothers
1,106 teenage girls get an abortion
500 adolescents begin using drugs
4,219 teenagers get a sexually transmitted disease
1,000 adolescents begin drinking alcohol
3,610 teens are assulted
80 are raped
2,861 teens drop out of school
420 children are arrested for drug abuse
5,388 youth are arrested
6 teens commit suicide..
E v e r y d a y
Every. SINGLE. day.

That Is sad.

Never-fading Memories

For Jo and Share - Thanks for sharing your "Poppa" with me over the years...I'll never forget him, and all of the memories - and I know you won't either. Love Kris

Never-Fading Memories

These memories begin in a house in White Rock,

Painting eggs on Easter throughout the years.

Lying in their hammock in the sun, and when we fell off,

They’d dry all of our tears.

Their home was a safe haven for us in our childhood,

My “second” Grandparents who let us do all we could do

Their love was always there, steady, unfailing

They were always caring, always true.

But things had to change, and some began to fade away

As the years went on

The pictures grow torn and tattered at the edges

We are reminded we must be strong.

And finally, the loss came, the crying the pain

As it was time for goodbyes

The memories are still there, strong and unchanging

No matter the tears that we cry.

So what now, when life has changed so much,

And it seems the pain won’t go away?

How do we carry on, live life without him,

Get up and live through each day?

We have to remember, even if it hurts

Remember the pain and the love

So cry as you remember, but laugh a little too

As you think of what the memories are of.

He was an amazing father, friend, grandpa, and husband

Who gave so much to all those he knew

So remember the love, and even the pain

As you think of how much he loved you.

A Portrait of Pain

A Portrait of Pain

Muddy streets, rugged clothes
Shivering and cold, shoes ripped at the toe
Looking for answers, but finding none
Looking for a meal, even just one

Scorching sun, clothes are torn
Hearts are heavy, but there’s no scorn
Children crying, cause they’re left alone
Their parents are gone, to somewhere unknown

Painted walls, flowers and green
These walls are a prison, to many unseen
Wheelchairs slowly moving, eyes start to close
Their family visits, they don’t even know

Eyes cast downward, at the ground
Wheeling their chair by, not making a sound
Don’t want to be heard, or to be seen
If nobody notices, they could be just a normal teen

But here lies the turmoil, here lies the pain
It seems that their loss is our gain
We see the pictures, the stories get read
But at the end of the day, these people are still dead

We say that it’s mean, that it’s unfair
We promise love and equality, saying we care
Then why are people still hungry and dying
Why are orphan children still sick and crying

Why don’t we visit the people in the “homes”
Make them feel loved, show they’re not alone
Why do we outcast the different so quickly
Why do we judge so many as “strange” or “sickly”

The pain is ours, it’s no longer theirs
For at least they don’t have to pretend to care
If they smile for a second, it makes us wonder why
When look at us, so rich and loved, who so quickly cry

The guilt isn’t ours or theirs, it’s been taken away
Nailed to the cross on that dark, long ago day
Yet still we pretend the pain isn’t real
Maybe it isn’t to them, when it’s all they ever feel…

Do something about it! Even if it's one hour you volunteer, one donation you make, one letter you write...that could mean ONE life. And even ONE life saved is better than none. Don't stand by and let it happen. Please.

Exchange of Hearts - Music Trip 06

Exchange of Hearts

I cleared my throat and looked around
Guess it's her and me, time to talk
"How'd you like our music?" I ask
To the lady who cannot even walk

She didn't say a single word
But grabbed my hand and smiled
She held my soul in that moment too
As I tried desperately to meet her eye

The man beside me looked at me
As if I'd lost my mind
She can't talk, she won't, his gaze seemed to say
In her, what do you expect to find?

And what indeed, in this woman sitting there
Patting my hand, but truly holding my heart
My eyes welled up with tears right then
I felt my emotions tearing apart

She tried to talk to me, she moved her lips
But she couldn't utter a sound
So I sat there, tears streaming down my face
As I stayed rock still in my spot on the ground

I wondered who her family was, this lady in blue
Did they ever come to see her and cry?
What was her story, this lady holding my hand
Why did her smile make me want to die

I felt so out of place, sitting there on the ground
Why was I crying, look at her, I should be strong
Then I realized, it's the other way around
I knew that I had got it all wrong

She was the strong one, to sit there and smile
Comforting me as I cried out those tears
She understood me, though she could not say it
And suddenly I understood her, no matter the difference of years

I realized what I could find, from this woman in blue
I could find patience, ever loving care
No matter that she was cooped up in a home
When I was crying, she was still smiling there

So I got up to go, leaving a little bit of my heart with her
And I was leaving with a new lesson learned
When I looked back, I saw one single tear on her cheek
And I smiled then, for I knew I'd given something to her


Last week junior music went up to Osoyoos, Salmon Arm, and Penticton for 4 days. It was really a great tour, we performed well, and it was an amazing experience. When we were there we visited 3 care homes and sang/played for the residents. Afterwards we walked around and talked to them for a bit. It was truly one of the most awakening and incredible experiences I've ever had - this one lady I talked to made me realize how blessed I am, and also how selfish too, unfortunately. Even if I think about all the kids in far away countries, or the people in care homes, how often do I DO something about it? Not often enough. So I made a promise that I'm going to more often, because sometimes all they need is a friend - someone who cares about them. "And what you do unto the least of these, my brotheren, you do it for me."

When the lights go down...

So one more performance of the play and then it's over.
Crazy, absolutely crazy, how fast this year has gone. 'Tis already April..almost. Wow.
It makes me kinda sad in a way, when I think about how fast it's all going by...and how many things
I would have liked to do...would still like to do...I guess time just keeps going faster. Shows we have to live with no regrets, live out our lives the best we can.

When the Lights Go Down

"Five minutes till showtime!"
You can hear them shout
Your mind swirls, your head spins
You swallow your fear and step out

Under the lights, unto the stage
Where everyone can see
Out of the shadows, you being to realize
"Wow, they're all looking at me..."

You feel the pressure
Your heart racing, pounding in your ears
And you love it, as you knew you would
You can make the audience shed a few tears

So this is your time
To step out into the light
To shine like the bright star you are
And put up a good hard fight

Too bad there is no five minute call
When God wants us to come on stage
Too bad we never know when we'll get called up
Regardless of our health or our age

We never seem to swallow our fears
And walk out into our life, our stage
We often don't remember our lines
We forget to be strong, to be brave

We talk backstage, we whisper
We stay in the back, out of sight
We aren't brave enough to play our part
To step out of the shadows, into the light

For if we could do that, could perform our play
That God helps us rehearse throughout the years
We could make a difference, change someone's heart
Make our audience even shed a few tears

If I Could Forget

If I could forget everything you did
I know without a doubt in my mind that I would
I'd forget all the lies and all the pain
I'd erase you from my heart, if I could

I'd forget every single word you spoke to me
All of the lies you so cleverly told
The ones I fell for so easily
With no concept of how they'd unfold

I'd forget the way you talked to me
And how you always held my stare
If I could forget all you ever did to me
I'd forget that you were ever there

I'd forget the way you made me laugh
When all I wanted to do was cry
I'd forget the way you could make me smile
By something as simple as catching my eye

I'd forget how safe I felt with you
When you promised not to let anyone hurt me
If only I'd known then that you would be
The source of hurt that could break me

If I could forget everything you did
I'm not so sure that I would
Even if I could forget all the lies, all the pain
Although I really know that I should

But then I'd have to forget your smile, your laugh
And the way they were directed at me
By forgetting the pain, and forgetting you
I'd be erasing a part of me.

Oh the teenage years...full of drama, loves found, loves lost. Ones we know never would last. Ones that generally never do last. Ones that make us completely and totally irrational at the time, only to realize later how crazy they made us act. Loves we have for all the wrong reasons, and can't seem to let go of. But here's another love that is more important than these kind:

1 Corinthians 13

Love

1If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

So no matter what the irrational love at the moment may be, it will usually pass away. When perfection comes, the imperfect disappears - so I should wait for perfection and trust in God for it! Re-read that passage, and everytime it says "love" substitue "God" in there. It shows us who he is, and who he wants us to be too.