Crazy mind filling thoughts...

Oh man...who even really knows where I get these thoughts from! I guess they all build up over time and complete explode so I gotta write 'em out. Something that I have really been trying to do lately is not just be a "luke-warm" Christian, so to speak. I'm trying, really trying, to let God take over every single aspect of my life...from my athletics to my friends to...well, everything. But the thing that is so hard for me when I do this is that I lose my control. Suddenly, the life that was all about ME, and then thanking God when things go well for ME, has done a complete 180 flip! God wants to take over our lives, to be allowed into our hearts and to help us through everything, not just the really important things. Everything in our lives is important to him. With that said, another thing that has become really important to me is trying to treat people wayyyy better. Treating them how I want to be treated sort of thing, and also, not just saying I am a Christian but actually acting like one. This isn't as hard as usual, when you are in a Christian school and surronded by Christians...but believe me, I still get tested, but I think I'm getting better. I also think that if I give more time to God, he'll help me through that as well. Sometimes it seems like there's so many things going on in our lives, so much to be stressed out about...I think that's where God comes in. To help us, to hold us, when we're down and alone.

Sorry this is such a long blog, but still have crazy mind boggling thoughts spinning around. This is the last one though. A big thing that really hurts me, that I really hate to see, is people that are close to me being put down and "kicked in the ribs" so to speak. I think it cuts even deeper to watch this happen to others than to experience it. I really hate it when people fight, I don't know why, I just really, really hate it. Try as I might to stop every fight in the world, it's not gonna happen, ever, like that. So I also have to give that up to God. Ask for what's best, ask if I can help...not do it on my own. Although I'd love to live in a happy-go-lucky all smiles and rainbows world, I know that's not how it is...accepting it is another fact I suppose. I just wish that people who call themselves "Christians" could not fight over silly things such as opinions over what makes a good Christian or not, ect. and just agree to help each other help others...would make the world a better place, which is after all, what God wants it to be.

Later.